The Holiday Struggle & How to Beat It

It's the most stressful time of the year - and I did sing that at the top of my lungs. Motherhood has changed my outlook on celebrations.

My birthday just passed, and this year with a struggling business, and an 18-month-old, the day felt so different. My week started with the stomach flu, followed by double viral pink eye in my little - QUEUE: STRESS OVERLOAD.

It was that moment, where I realized the Birthday Magic we've always created for each other has been fizzled by the daunting responsibility of life.

This was truly only icing on top of a Holiday season that has felt so dull this year. Getting gifts for people has always been a stressful event for me. Choosing something, within a particular budget in an attempt to make someone happy, often without a clue of what they may want or need. When we put it that way, the whole thing seems so silly. Let alone make the magic and cheer happen.

Cookies.

Dinner.

Gift Baskets.

Holiday Cards.

Long walks to look at lights.

Attending those heavily attended public events for Santa photos.

Unrealistic holiday romance movies.

It's all too much, and much of this falls on Mom to complete, initiate, and/or plan. To reduce my stress, and reignite what holidays are all about, here are the three things we have done to bring Gratitude, Love, and Memories back to the forefront of our Holiday Season:

1. Carving out intentional time, and intentional time ONLY

2. Dividing the tasks

3. Reducing the crap

1. Carving Out Intentional Time ONLY

Take all of your Holiday means we must task, and pick only the top 5 that matter to your family. We sat down as a family and talked about the things that bring the Holiday spirit into ourselves individually, and as a family, and chose the top 5 to dedicate our time and attention to. This meant cutting out the obligatory holiday tasks and choosing to focus on the ones that we wanted to do. QUEUE: Feeling relief and joy when it comes to choosing tasks.

Then, take it just one step further and plan what that looks like. For example: I love Christmas Movies, so we carved out a plan to watch one movie, as a family, with snacks and cocoa in hand every Friday of December. That is a fun family memory being created that brings only joy. It also made me commit to 4 of my favorite movies that provide the feeling and narrative that aligns with my Holiday Magic.

2. Divide the Tasks

Mom is not the leader of Christmas, and Santa is busy helping too many families, so when we divided our time into our intentional activities, we also split up the responsibilities. Here's what our to-do list looks like:

Not only did this provide me with relief as the Mom, but it got my Husband more involved than he's ever been, and he has enjoyed being a part of each step. The inclusivity has wiped the Scrooge right out of him!

3. Reduce the Crap

As much joy as I get from giving the gift of joy, as families have grown around us, the Christmas stress has become monetary as well as obligatory. In other words, I was tired of getting each sibling, in-law, niece, nephew, cousin, friend, and friend's kid a less impactful gift because my budget was $ 20 per person. So we cut the crap and made a gift-giving raffle. Rather than everyone getting a series of smaller items, we do a random drawing amongst our siblings & in-laws (for us that is 10+ people) and you get one meaningful gift to your assigned person. Rather than spending $200 on little items for everyone, we spend $150 on one person and get them that won't-buy-myself-but-really-want item. Not only did I save $50 on that group of people, but that is more money in my pocket to allocate to something else like dinner, or kids' gifts.

With the other side of the family, we opted to all stop adult gifts, and do a group experience only Christmas. Our kids wake up to gifts from all of their aunts & uncles, and as adults, we plan a trip that will make memories for everyone in the family! When we're gone, the material items in our lives will become someone else's stress, but our memories will bring joy for years to come.

Just because life is different, more stressful, and more time-consuming, doesn't mean that the Holiday Season has to lose its luster. How can you cut the Holiday Crap and get the magic back this season? Tell me below!